In his book, To Return to All, Albert Graves told of how his father, a member of the gentry, whipped him and his brother when they accidentally destroyed some flowers while gardening. Also, the boys' governess "boxed the boys ears" when they damaged some chairs in the classroom.⁴ Girls also became subject to physical punishment.

During the period, it was believed that "to spare the rod was to spoil the child" and it was not uncommon for the servants to punish the children as well. Agnes Hunt in her autobiography recalled a meeting that had been called by her older sister, May, on what the children could do about the number of people who were allowed "to beat them", a meeting which was later broken up by their mother when she walked into the classroom.⁵

Although most did not physically strike their children, they did resort to other forms of punishment such as locking the child in a closet, sending them to their room or having their allowance taken away. Some nannies kept branches hanging up as a symbol of authority and while not permitted to use it on the children, did strike it hard upon a table to demonstrate. Though most did not exert undue pressure but instead offered their love but expressed disappointment which did keep the children at bay.

While the children in the middle-class family had nice homes and plenty to eat, they were taught to cope with their difficulties in silence and on their own, thus making them self reliant. Unfortunately some were so afraid to tell their parents about an illness or an injury that they put themselves in harms way physically.

Unlike the lower classes, the older children did not play much of a role in caring for their siblings as there were servants and nannies, however, at times, the oldest daughter would offer her assistance to her mother. By this time, the daughter was in her mid to late teens, however. If the mother passed away, the eldest daughter would take over the household. Having more time the older children were also able to form a stronger relationship with their younger siblings.

"Class" was learned at a young age as upper/middle-class parents did not want their children to associate with anyone not in the same class. This led to the building of extremely close relationships between the siblings especially if they had only each other as playmates.

In the middle-class family, servants assisted in the rearing of the children. They took on the heavier tasks of child rearing allowing the parents more time to provide religious training and play. The "nanny" was sometimes strict, however, gave each child unconditional love. In some families, the nanny was just as much adored by the children as their parents. Eileen Bailie was devastated when her nanny had to be let go due to hard times. She described her as being "all sufficing, constant, stable as a rock in a world of uncertainties."⁶

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